A Jumble of Headcanons
by Tharesa
Summary: Just some fun, fluffy headcanons of superhero shenanigans for your enjoyment. BroTPs are endless and in abundance. No real romance, though ships mentioned are stucky and pepperony. Shenanigans. Rated T for swearing.
1. Steve's Problem

Steve Rogers had a problem. And that problem was jumping out of things that no human in their _right goddamn mind_ would jump out of.

Back in the days of the war, Bucky always made sure Steve had a parachute before they jumped out of planes. Steve had never argued back then.

But _God forbid_ the man would put on a damn parachute when diving from a jet that was going far faster than any 1940's machine _half a mile_ above the earth.

If he didn't love the man more than life, Bucky swore up and down he would kill Steve with his bare hands when the mission was over.


	2. Bucky's Rookie Mistake

One evening, Steve was reading a book in his and Bucky's room in Avengers tower, when an unexpected knock on the door startled him. When he opened it, he found a scarred looking Bucky standing in front of him covered in Velcro-tip NERF bullets.

"Um. Buck?"

"I messed up, Stevie." He replied tonelessly, making Steve slightly worried. Only slightly though. The NERF bullets implied something far less worrying than Bucky's haunted tone.

"What'd you do?"

"I challenged Clint and Nat to a NERF battle."

Steve couldn't help but laugh. One could only made that mistake once in this group.

"Oh, jeeze, Bucky. You're supposed to be a master assassin, how could you make such a _rookie_ mistake?" He asked, still chuckling.

"Don't laugh at me, punk. I got some hits on Barton."

Steve grinned. "And Nat?"

" _I didn't even see her._ " Bucky breathed out in a frustrated stream of words, which only made Steve laugh harder.

"For future reference, always have Nat on your team. Going against her is a sure way to lose." Steve said when he could breathe again, clapping Bucky on the shoulder before dragging his emotionally wounded friend into their room.


	3. Glitter War

Nearly every inch of carpet in Avengers tower has traces of glitter. The quantity varies depending on what floor, whose room, and the proximity to an air vent.

Unfortunately for Pepper and Steve, their boyfriends are the instigators of the problem, which causes them, their rooms, and their possessions to have a nearly constant layer of glitter.

One day they decide to join forces and put a stop to the never ending glitter war, which has somehow roped in Barton.

Steve, Pepper, and Natasha gather one day to come up with a way to get the trio to stop. Pepper suggests getting JARVIS to lock Tony from his lab, for Nat to hide away Clint's archery equipment, and for Steve to relentlessly cover Bucky's metal arm in magnets. JARVIS is willing enough to comply, so Nat and Steve decide to go with the plan.

The next morning, the plan has been put into action. Stark wakes up to find that JARVIS won't grant him access to his lab. Barton is unable to locate his equipment, though he stashes it under his bed. And Bucky wakes up to find-

"ROGERS!"

Steve is making himself breakfast when he hears Bucky nearly shriek his name. Oh man, is he in for it.

His best friend comes storming into the kitchen, fury blazing in his eyes as he stalks up to Steve. Sam is in the kitchen with them, completely unaware of the plan, and when he catches sight of Barnes, he loses it.

That only makes Bucky angrier, if even possible.

"WHAT THE HELL STEVE!" Bucky screams, gesturing wildly at his arm, which is _covered_ in none other than glittery mermaid, unicorn, dragon, dinosaur, whale, dog, and cat stickers.

Steve just smirks at him and scrambles his eggs a bit more.

"STEVE THIS ISN'T FUNNY DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT'S GOING TO BE TO-!"

"PEPPER!"

Now Tony is storming into the room, clearly in search of his own insult. "Is she in here?"

"Nope." Sam said, now over his laughter (probably out of fear of Bucky).

"JARVIS says she's locked me out of my fuckin lab!" Tony whines, before taking in the situation that had been happening before he walked in.

" _Oh my god_."

"NATASHA!"

Now it was Clint's turn. Honestly, Steve wondered where the two women were; they were missing _quite_ the show.

Clint's reaction to Bucky's arm was much the same as Sam's, which resulted in Bucky launching at Steve in an attempt to strangle him. It didn't take much to get Barnes to get off of him, but after, Steve just cracked up.

Despite several attempts, the trio couldn't get him to explain why they were being persecuted, and so they went in search of Nat and Pepper. It didn't take them long to find the women. They were watching a Disney movie one floor down, seemingly oblivious to the commotion that had gone on upstairs.

"NAT GIVE ME MY ARROWS BACK."

"PEPPER. PLEASE. I HAVE IMPORTANT SCIENCE TO DO."

"MAKE STEVE GET THESE OFF OF ME."

Once the trio were present, Pepper stood from the couch to face them while Nat paused the movie.

"Alright guys, here's the deal. We're tired of the glitter war. So what you're all going to do is _vacuum_ the floors, _cease_ the war, and then—only then—will you be released from your punishments."

Needless to say, there was significantly less glitter in Avengers tower after that.


	4. Pop Culture

Sometimes being out of the loop in pop culture didn't bother Steve. He had more important things to do than sit around catching up.

But on occasions when even _Bucky_ was getting—and making—references, Steve wished he had the time.

He, Buck, Nat, and Sam were on a mission one day in a forest of Europe, scoping out what agent Hill suspected was a H.Y.D.R.A. base. At some point they'd been spotted, and had to fight off enemy soldiers.

It wasn't long into the battle before a tree started falling. As it did, Bucky's voice came in over the com.

 _"_ _It's goin' down, I'm yellin' timber!"_ He sang into the mic as he kept fighting. Sam and Nat's laughter filled Steve's ears, and he wondered what was funny.

"Did you just quote _Ke$ha?_ " Sam asked, sounding completely shocked.

"Who the hell is Ke$ha?" Bucky responded, but by the tone of his voice the group knew he was kidding.

"I feel like I missed the punch line." Steve said, to which the others chuckled.

"You need to step up your game, Rogers. Bucky's pop culture knowledge is getting ahead of yours." Natasha teased.

"It's okay, Stevie. I'll catch you up on Ke$h when we get home." Bucky promised.

And catch him up he did.


End file.
